Wednesday, April 11, 2007

It's A Nice Day For A White Wedding...

My buddy Todd had his wedding the other day which I attended. Now I must address this to help relieve some of the trauma I went through during it. First of all, they make a too adorable couple. Here's Todd and Keri.

You're both too pretty. So I hate you both! Anyway...this is where the trauma began. So I'm seated next to some co-workers of mine who are, shall we say Lakisha Jones sized chests. The hoochie music starts to play and it's jiggle time on both sides of me. And a special guest star third "chesty" shows up from behind for some additional jiggling. It was in 3D and was just wrong! Maybe another guy would have been excited, but sorry, unless you can make it Blake and Chris R. from Idol, I don't think so.

So meanwhile, I am able to escape to the buffet line which had fried chicken, mac-n-cheese, collards, black eyed peas without Fergie, etc. (It was all delicious by the way.) Now this was handy, as chicken legs are perfect for tossing at fools and knocking them in the head. I tell you, I was thisclose to doing it! And of course I left my roach spray at home, so I was stuck enduring it!

If the bride had one of these cocktails in her hand, I would SO have snatched it out of her hand. This pic isn't from the wedding, but I couldn't resist!

This is the moment the bride realized what she just did. That's right baby, you're stuck with the geek!

I told the groom that I would give him $100 if he had a cake like this at the wedding, but no luck. I think it's a very classy cake! LOL

Here's a picture with the couple posing with the Invisible Man and his date. I was scurred and confrused!

Ok, now this is just before the "white boy dance" started. All I can say is why do weddings have to play those stupid line dances? But this one had some funky rhythm to it that got them goin'. Now I was told that what the groom was doing was dancing, but it looked more like he was trying to stomp on an army of cockroaches on the dance floor. Well, Patrick Swayze may say "Nobody puts Baby in the corner", but girl, you need to keep your man far away from the dance floor. Thank you!

Check out these bobos Todd is wearing on his feet. Heh! Sweet! Is it the lighting or do they look like the soles are about 5 inches thick!

With all the joking aside, it was a great wedding and lots of fun. Lots of love and my best wishes to the happy couple.

No comments: