Amazing Race - Freaks On Stilts

Amazing Race Season 12 time! Boring Jason and Lorena were eliminated last week. Let's see if Kynt and Vyxsin make it through another leg with their mascara intact.













Teams start off heading to Lithuania. Kynt says he always wanted to go somewhere like Lithuania or Transylvania because they are gothy places. I never thought of Lithuania as gothy, but whatever, I don't want to upset Kynt and his wacky manicured eyebrows!













Ronald whines about how the ticket agent needs to "expand beyond the fossilization of the carrier". Eh? I never know what he's saying. Turns out he was right. The ticket agent found a better flight. Guess he knows his fossils...since he is one.













Dumb blonde squishy sandwich! Blondies back up without watching and almost get hit by a bus.













Detour. Count Down or Step Up. Kynt and Vyxsin feel at home among the freaks in costumes. They suck at walking on stilts but count the fence posts pretty quickly.













Christina and Ronald try walking on stilts and of course Ronald is hilarious at it. He's worried about his hernia popping out. Ick!













TK and Rachel kick butt on the stilts and are first to the pitstop.













Shana and Jennifer are last to arrive and are eliminated. Now Shana can go back home to Ryan Secrest (they've been linked together). Ryan needed a beard ya know. See ya blondies.

Amazing Race - Hot Chicken Lovin'

Amazing Race Season 12 time! Whiny sisters Mariana and Julia were eliminated and are off somewhere terrorizing camels. So let's see if Ronald survives without hernia drama this week.













Teams start off in West Africa heading for another town and have to carry a live chicken in a bag with them the entire leg. Those are going to be some pissed off chickens!













Ronald starts up with his hernia drama. That was quicker than I thought! And he's wearing that "Who's Your Daddy" shirt again. I sure hope he washes it!













Detour: Shake your pan or Shake your booty. Uh oh. Crazy white boy dancing. Jennifer and Nathan sucked at dancing and had to do it over.













Oh dear. Old coot Donald is in mud. Let's hope we don't see any repeat of muddy speedo action.













Kynt and Vyxsin think they are at a rave or something and work some crazy drug-induced dance. The locals were probably to scared of them to let them stay around, so they said they liked it.













Shana and Jennifer U-Turn Jason and Lorena, which means they will have to do both detour challenges. Oops.













For the Roadblock, one person has to ride a bike carrying all kinds of crap including a cranky goat. Vyxsin can't seem to hold up her bike. I think the wheels keep slipping on all that mascara running all over the place. Cranky goat is making all kinds of noises because it's never seen skin such a bright shade of white!













Azaria and Hendekea are first at the pitstop by a split second. Jennifer and Nathan are pissed that Azaria and Hendekea keep coming in first. That's because you're a slow ass, bad dancing fool Nathan!













Jason and Lorena are last to the pitstop due to the U-Turn. Bet the blondes are happy that they won't be coming after them next week! I wonder what happens to the chickens? Does the winning chicken get a prize? More likely, it gets to be dinnner. Sorry Mr. Chicken, no win for you!

Amazing Race - Udderly Crazy!

Amazing Race Season 12 time! After last week's scary speedo sighting, I'm afraid of what I will see this week!













Teams start in Amsterdam going to West Africa. Grandpa Donald says he's going to "let it all hang out". Oh no, after last week, I don't want to see anything else hanging out, thank you!













Ronald got a hernia after the last leg. The doctor who examined him said he just "pushed everything back in" and let him go. What needed pushing back in?! Ick! He said he will really try not to talk bad to Christina anymore. Yeah, that'll happen.













Roadblock is to milk a camel. Jennifer tells Nathan to be gentle with the nipples while he is milikng. Guess she doesn't appreciate his mad grab method. I think she's having flashbacks to last night in bed.













Lorena is all freaking out because she keeps dropping the milk and then her camel runs dry. She pleads "Please Lord, give me milk!" heh. I think Jason might have been better at squeezing out bodily fluids!













Detour. Teach it or Learn it. Azaria and Hendekea kicked butt learning the words in the native language and finished first and also make it to the pitstop first.













Poor Lorena keeps having her bowl of milk kicked by the camel. This camel is my hero! I think the producers paid the camel to do that.














The last team to the pitstop is Mariana and Julia and they are eliminated. I bet if she sees a camel on tv in the future, she'll probably run from the room. Kind of like what I do whenever Ronald talks.

Well, we shall see next week if Ronald's hernia stays in place.

Amazing Race 12 - My Eyes Are Burning!

Amazing Race Season 12 time! We got to meet the all the loonies last week and said goodbye to the crazy queen and his hag. Let's see how the freaks do and who will annoy us this week? All probably.













Teams start in Ireland and have to travel to Amsterdam to find a bridge. Cesarean and Indiglo, or whatever their names are, are first to leave.













Team "Holy Cryptkeepers" actually said the most intelligent thing I've heard in all the seasons. And that's that they have no illusions that God cares whether they win the race. I'm saying!













Geezer Ronald had a showdown with Nicolas for being a rude jerk to the lady at the counter. Nicolas was all "whatever old fool" and get's Ronald even more upset. Oh, and we learned the important info that Ronald can hear well because he just cleaned out the wax from his ears. Thanks for sharing dude!













Detour, Hoist it or Hunt it. The freaks do some serious hoisting of furniture, in the rain no less. And Kynt's mascara didn't smear! Easy breezy beautiful, Cover Girl!













What's up with that line over Crypt-Kate's left eye? Looks like Kynt and Vyxsin got a hold of her. Probably told her that was all the rage these days! But they're such a likable team, I hate to kid!













Next, teams have to Ditch Vault. I bet we'll be seeing some old farts falling in the water. One can hope. But surprise, it's dizzy blonde Jennifer that takes that plunge! Love it! And as a bonus for being a dumbass, she gets a free mud facial. Score!














First to the pitstop is Jason and Lorena. And they did kick butt this leg. Way to go guys!













Ronald says the following to Christina: "I'm trying to be optimistic with a real truth flavor." I'm trying to give you the truth that you got boogers in your nose" "You are vascillating." Eh? What is that fool talking about? Maybe there's thin air in Amsterdam that sets off his Alzheimers or something. He sure is on my last nerve!













THIS.IS.SO.WRONG! That's all I can say.













Kate and Pat were last to the Pitstop and were eliminated. Aww. The nice couple go. Too bad, they will be missed. Maybe Ronald and his yammering butt will be next. Or else Donald, for making my eyes still burn from that horrific muddy speedo sight!

Amazing Race Season 12 Premiere

New season of Amazing Race. Time to round up the loonies. And finally a season without hicks David and Mary. Thank goodness! Well, time for the freakshow...

















First team is Kynt and Vyxsin. Eh? Nice names there! They are dating are are into Goth. They are Myspace lovin fools and love being surrounded by Storm Troopers and Wookies. Um, yeah, who doesn't?

















Jennifer and Nathan are dating for two years...on and off. Sounds like they are going to be the griping couple of the season. They spend half the episode doing some serious donkey hatin'.



















Then we got Ronald and Christina. A father and daughter team who never spent much time together because he was a workaholic. And the fact that he's wearing a "Who's Your Daddy" shirt means that he is sure to get on my last nerve. Either that or he's trying to tell his daughter something... They start off the season doing well.


















Shana and Jennifer are dizzy blonde friends who say they will do anything to win the million dollars. Skanks! I think they even flirted with the donkey.

















Azaria and Hendeka are brother and sister who expect to have confrontations during the race. Oh really? I never seen that on this show. Who knew? Well, it's not getting in their way yet as they are doing just fine this leg.

















Lorena and Jason are dating and are struggling over their cultural differences. And what could that be? Probably neither of them have any culture?

















Nicolas and Donald are a grandson and grandfather team. 23 year old Nicolas says he's "reliable, competitive, and goofy." And the father is...um...old. That about sums him up.

















Ari and Staella are best friends. Ari says he's "mean, rude, and hilarious", and that's just describing his hair! Ari is trying to out-Gay Oswald and Danny from last year. However, they differ from Oswald and Danny due to their sucky game playing skills.

















Marianna and Julia are sisters who plan to flirt their way to the finals. They annoy me already!

















Rachel and TK have been dating for a year. They seem boring and what's up with his hair?! That's just wrong! They spent most of the leg in first place till the end. I think he tripped on his nappy hair or something.

















Last team is Kate and Pat. They are married ministers and are on the show because the Amazing Race needed a little bit more lesbian/religious action. How's that for a combo!















The first team to the pitstop is Azaria and Hendekea.















And the team eliminated is Ari and Staella. I was getting tired of spelling her name with that extra "a" anyway. See ya suckas!

Some interesting characters this season. Let's see how fast they get on my nerves!