Thursday, May 31, 2007

So You Think You Can Dance Auditions - Atlanta

So You Think You Can Dance auditions continue as they head to Atlanta! Bring on the freaks!

First up is Caitlin, an 18 year old. She was a dancing mini-diva. Very impressive. She made it to Vegas.

Christopher is a huge Nsync fan. He cries whenever he is around the band. Eep! He does some wacked out moves. Judges told him "Bye Bye Bye!"

Brandon is up and is a clogger. Eh?? He reminds me of Clay Aiken if Clay was even gayer! He sure did some crazy ass clogging. He was pretty fun to watch! But what's with those snaggle teeth! And the judges are sending his crazy teeth to Vegas! Video of his audition is below.

Day 2 of Atlanta auditions start. Brian is first. He's got scoliosis. He did some'm not sure what he was doing. But he entertained everyone. Judges sent him to do choreography. Not sure if he can do that though.

Myles is next and is CUTE! He used to play football then switched to ballet. You work it you DIVA! Judges thought he was good but needs more training. They let him do choreography. His video is below.

Kippery is next. Whoa. She says she's a hip hopper. She does skreet (street) hip hop. Although she looks as big as an entire street...or make that skreet. There's more waves goin on in her body than the Titanic!

And what's up with her booty? It's doin strange things!

Chris is one of the last. He's was in the Marines and lives on some hick cattle farm. He did some hoedown crazy country mess. Nigel asked if he liked Brokeback Mountain. HEH! Not surprisingly, he didn't. They showed him respect but had to let him leave.

After the choreography round, judges decide to let Brian go home, but not before Shane offers him an appearance in a movie. And cutie Myles is going to Vegas! Nigel psyched him out to think he wasn't, then gave him the good news.

On the next episode. It's Vegas Week! Bring it on!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

So You Think You Can Dance - Auditions Day 2

So You Think You Can Dance auditions continue! Oh, let these get over with already!

They are in LA for auditions and Lauren was the first up. She worked with choreographer Tyce DiOrio. She was very sassy. Judges sent her right to Vegas.

EJ shows up ready for some full-sized workin'! It's just scary! He had some good moves, but Nigel said he is too much a fat ass to be on the show. Sorry EJ. And yes, I gotta do a video of it! See below.

Colin's greatest achievement was hugging Anna Nicole Smith. I think she should have slapped him instead. He's just wrong!

Gold Inferno is next. Eh? What is he, a ghetto Power Ranger? Whoa, that was crap-tastic! Nigel actually liked him and asked him back to the choreography round. But he doesn't make it any further. Aww.

Winky and Hiccup King are next. Judges cant stop laughing at Hiccup boy's constant hiccups. But they do a pretty good ballroom routine. Not as good as PASHA! from last week, but good. Both make it to Vegas.

Chuy is next with some contemporary dancing. He is HOT and a great dancer and heading to Vegas!

Hok returns after auditioning last year and does some crazy moves! And it got him to Vegas!

Last year's winner Benji Schwimmer shows up with his little sister Lacey, who is auditioning.

Now they head to Chicago for more auditions. Phillip is up doing some crazy popping. He did some CRAZY things with his body and has some big ass lips! Judge Shane Sparks loved him and looked like he was about to cry! They sent him on to Vegas.

Yesenia is up next. Shake that healthy butt! Baby got BACK! And she's got on pants that say "sexy back" on her butt. She worked it! And got a ticket to Vegas!

Janet is one of the last ones to audition for the day. She's from my hometown of Tampa, FL. She's got a prosthetic arm and I didn't even realize until they mentioned it. She was good. She made it to Vegas.

Tomorrow, they head to Atlanta!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

So You Think You Can Dance - Season 3

WOOT! So You Think You Can Dance is back baby! I'm so psyched. Even though I must put up with a couple weeks of stank audition episodes, I'm so looking forward to the final group competing!

And for old times sake, here's my favorites from last year, including TRAVIS!!

They start off the auditions with Dancing Derrick. He's kinda cute, but a FREAK! He about passed out and needed oxygen.

PASHA! A ballroom dancer auditioning with his partner. Pasha is HOT! They were great and the judges sent them right on to the next round in Vegas.

Heather was told after her two surgeries, she should never dance again. But she wants none of that. She's a dancing diva! She looks like Sigmond the Sea Monster, but the judges loved her and sent her to Vegas.

Hanna-Lee was in that crazy accident in Israel where a dancefloor collapsed and everyone fell through. I remember that video, it was crazy! She was all bruised up from it and she wants to prove she can dance still. Well, she did ok, and Nigel is sending her to to the dance off to see if she should move to the next round.

This is Joel Bernabel and WHAT THE FUG?! That is some scary stuff! And his dancing wasn't much better.

Last year's finalist Stanislav shows up with his sister to help her audition. He still looks all crazy. She was pretty good and judges sent her on to Vegas.

Jamal was given a second chance if he could show he could swing dance like he said he could. He was just standing there and the judges knew he was lying. Then he breaks out in dancing and is actually pretty good! Way to go Jamal. He's on to Vegas.

"Sex" is back for another try at auditions. Um. I've heard of bringing sexy back, but I don't think Justin meant this! Ugh! Nigel cussed out Sex's mother.

Well, there's the first night of auditions. I wish they would show more of the good dancers. But it's like Idol. Show the freaks! Till next week...

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

American Idol Finale - Results

It's the finals results announcing Jordin's expected win. This will be one uneventful winner announcement. But let's see what other crap they throw in the show.

Wait a minute. They got Jordin and Blake doing a duet where Blake sings the lyrics "She was just seventeen..." OK OK, we get it already. She's only 17!

Gwen Stefani makes an appearance to perform her new single.

Kelly's back. Yay! Singing her new single Never Again. She's a rockin diva! Still looking like she's been making too many calls to Dominos delivery!

Omigod! Does Sesame Street know Big Bird is on the loose in L.A.? Well, I don't think Ryan cared much for the women anyway, but after this attack, I think I'm sure now!

It's the Top 6 guys singing Smokey Robinson songs. And are joined by Smokey himself. Sing it boyz! CAKE reunion!!


Blake has a beatbox showdown with the original human beatbox, Doug E. Fresh. It's Funky Fresh!! Ryan says people complained that Blake didn't get a chance to beatbox on the final song last night, so they are having him now. Yeah, now let him, after the voting is all over. Crazy fools!

The Top 6 gals are up singing with Gladys Knight. MELINDA!! Look at Jordin above. She's looking at Gladys like she's thinking "BIOTCH, don't steal my spotlight!"

Tony Bennett shows up to sing, since he was sick and couldn't sing when he was a guest mentor. Sing it Tony!

Fatt Mann and Bush Baby return. Hide the children! I'll have nightmares now!

Bebe and Cece Winans performs with Melinda. She used to sing backing vocals for them. Work it Melinda. The REAL American Idol winner!

Carrie Underwood returns and once again has HOT Fiddle Boy with her!! She sings her version of I'll Stand By You.

The Crypt Keeper...I mean Clive Davis comes on and basically says that Taylor Hicks sucks but Chris Daughtry is GREAT! I'll buy that. He presents Carrie with a plaque celebrating 6 million album sales.

Oh dear, Sanjaya is performing with Aerosmith. He even found "Crying Girl" in the audience, who was conveniently sitting right in front of Big Bird. I hope Crying Girl doesn't have any snacks on her or she will be gobbled up by the end of the show. Nothing left but a pile of yellow feathers!

Green Day are performing. Cool! I love me some Green Day!


I think they found a way to make Jordin not look like a chunky girl. Have her perform with Reuben "where's the all-you-can-eat buffet" Studdard!

Bette Midler! Saucy! She looks good!

You notice how they didn't have the usual live feeds from the final two's hometowns? In fact they didn't mention the competition of them two the whole night. They knew there was no point. Ok, time to announce the winner. IT'S JORDIN! Wow! I can't believe it! This really caught me by surprise! What a cliffhanger ending!! Ok, sarcasm over. Congratulations Jordin. Now where's the news on Blake's album!

So You Think You Can Dance premieres tomorrow. WOOT! That just got me outta the funk I was in!