Wednesday, March 28, 2007

American Idol Top 10 - Return Of The Fauxhawk!

Results night for the Top 10. I just know Sanjaya will still be around, so let's see who gets the axe.

Oh dear. Ryan comes out wearing a Sanjaya fauxhawk wig. That's just wrong. It is official. Sanjaya is officially nothing but a joke, but no news there.

Ford shameless commercial time. Chris is an outlaw. a HOT outlaw. He needs to perform a song lookin' like that! The others are looking all fly in their western wear. Although I don't quite buy Lakisha as a cowgirl.

The first bottom two are Phil and Haley. Or as Ryan said, "Phil and Stacey". Dumbass! Sanjaya is safe of course.

Gwen Stefani's time to pimp her new single. Performing with Akon. After the performance, Ryan small talks to death with her. Then said to her "We have the results of the vote...coming up." and she gives a look like "Who the hell cares!" She finally plays along and says "mmm, scary." She so wants outta there!

The third in the bottom is Chris Sligh...good! And Phil is safe.

Chris Sligh and his crazy hair are out of there. I thought he'd be around another week or two, but I really didn't like his performance this week and he's just annoying, so it's fine with me. Tune in next week to see Sanjaya survive yet another week!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Dancing With The Stars - Results

It's the first results show. Who will go? I'm pretty sure Billy Ray and Clyde will be safe, so let's see which lady gets the axe.

First couple in the bottom two are Shandi and Brian. Gah! Leave the cuties alone! I need my eye candy for a few weeks more.

And the second couple is Paulina and Alec. That one I called last night. She was on the top of my list to get the boot. By the look on her face, she was expecting it. She sure makes some crazy faces!

And I was right. Bye Bye Paulina. And in her farewell speech, she gives one more goofy look for the camera. Eek!

American Idol - Top 10

We are to the Top 10 and Sanjaya is STILL HERE! I'll be starting off all of these that way. You heard of the girl on Myspace who's not eating until Sanjaya is voted off? I think she'll be hitting McDonald's any time now, because he just won't go!

Lakisha is first up with Last Dance by Donna Summer. Here's a song she can diva out to. Ok, the thing I'm noticing about Lakisha is she can belt out the high notes like a diva but her lower register doesn't seem as impressive. She can sing better than most of these people, but this is Donna Summer and I was expecting a lot more from her than this. Hmm.

Chris Sligh is next and mentions playing the bongos in his boxer shorts. Well, there goes my dinner, thank you very much! He was ok. Kinda boring. He really hasn't dazzled me since the Top 12. Maybe he needs Sanjaya's haircut.

Gina Glocksen is next. Good song choice of a good Pretenders song. She does better than the last two weeks. She may have saved herself for a few more weeks.

Sanjaya is next. Oh why does he make this so easy! Where do I start with this new hairstyle? I think I can explain it. Even his hair can't stand his singing and is gathering up as high as it can to escape him. Sorry hair, you're stuck with him, as we are. Sigh...He sings a No Doubt song and sucks as usual. I really think he is trying to be as bad and freaky as he can to see if America keeps voting for him. And they do. Whatever, crack-lovin' America.

Haley Scarnato is next singing Cindy Lauper. Haley did pretty good. She was all glammed up, but I don't know if it was good enough to keep her here.

Phil Stacey is next. He's covering up his bald head trying to keep from scaring people who are afraid of vampires. He picked ANOTHER boring song. At least he sounded good. He has a good voice and is in tune, but a bit dull.

Melinda Doolittle is next singing a Donna Summer song like Lakisha did. Now THAT'S how to sing Donna! I could listen to Melinda sing all day! Simon hates her outfit. Check out her performance below:

Blake Lewis is next singing The Cure. Great song. His performance was a bit boring, but he sang it well. Simon said he's the best male singer in the competition. I can agree with that!

Jordin Sparks is next singing No Doubt. I'm not sure about the song choice. I don't think it showed off her voice well enough. But she sounded good as usual. And what's up with her outfit?

Last is Chris Richardson, also singing No Doubt. Simon didn't like it much, but I thought it was pretty good. And he looked HOT! Paula says in a sexy voice "You're good Chris, you're good...just good!" I was waiting for her to mount him at any moment!

My guess for who will go is Haley. We'll see.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Dancing With The Stars - Week 2

It's the second week of Dancing With The Stars. The points from tonight will be added together with last week's. Let's hope tonight there's no mullets, no bad Bruno puns, but PLENTY of flying legs please!

First up is Apolo Anton Ohno doing the Quickstep. That dance always annoys me. It was a sassy and fun dance. I liked it a lot. The judges loved it too. But Apolo's mega choppers drive me crazy! They are like twice the size of regular teeth. Scores: 8, 9, 9.

Next up is Shandi and cutie Brian. Brian is HOT HOT tonight and he tore up that dancefloor. Shandi was just trying to keep up. And didn't do good enough at it. They will have problems staying, which will be a shame. They are such nice eye candy. Scores: 6, 7, 7.

Now we got Clyde Drexler doing the Quickstep. Compared to Apolo it was bad bad. But of course the judges always go easy on the awkward sports guys and gave him glowing comments. It's stupid. He was bad. Face it. Scores: 6, 6, 6. I'm ok with those scores.

Next is Leeza Gibbons wanting to shake her 50 year old groove thang. It was pretty awkward. I don't think she's improved much over last week. Bruno told her to let the tramp out. How rude Bruno. Don't talk about Heather Mills like that! Scores: 7, 7, 7.

Was that Robbie Williams in the audience?? Guess he's outta rehab.

Up next is Ian Ziering. He did very well. Bruno said he was skippy like a rabbit and needs to work on his form. Scores: 7, 8, 7. Speaking of 90210 stars, I would love to see Shannon Doherty on this show. I bet she would have a fit if any judge dissed her!

Now we got Paulina Porizkova. She was better than last week. Nothing too great, but the judges encouraged her. By the look on her face, I think she was shocked she got good comments. Scores: 7, 7, 7.

Up next is Billy Ray Cyrus. Billy says he's depressed because he sucks. Ain't that the truth! Wait. He actually did better than Clyde. Of course, that's not saying much. But I think he earned himself another week at least. Scores: 7, 7, 7.

Next up is trick leg Heather Mills. What mess is she wearing?? Woody did pretty well. The judges all like her as well. She did some crazy flip that was crying out for a leg malfunction. Boo! I'd take off points for her leg not flying off! Scores: 8, 8, 8.

Now we got John Ratzenberger. He was pretty spry for an old geeze. Judges liked him too. I guess he's supposed to be the funny old guy of this season, but he's not too much funny. Scores: 7, 7, 7.

Up next is Laila Ali being all spicy! She was a pistol! Her legs are so big and muscular, they are scary looking. But she was sassy! And Maksim showed off his muscles. Extra point for that! Scores: 9, 9, 9.

Last performer is Joey Fatone. I think someone did toss that pork chop across the dance floor. Look at Joey's excitement above when he saw it. And his partner Kym must have been distracted by some shiny object. She's off somewhere in airhead land. Joey was flying all over the place. Good job tubs! Len calls Joey a geezer. Len's cataracts must be flaring up again. Scores: 8, 8, 8.

My guess for who's going tomorrow is either Leeza and Paulina. Not my bottom two, but who I think the audience will have as their bottom two.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Amazing Race - Everybody Grab Your Rungu!

Amazing Race All-Stars time. Uchenna and Joyce were last to arrive last week, but lucked out with a non elimination leg. Let's see if they fight back and finish tonight in first.

Teams are starting out in Mozambique heading to Tanzania. Oswald and Danny take time to have a Price Is Right model moment before leaving.

Charla tries to get the ticket agent to call another airline to check on flights but she won't. Helpful Charla shows the ticket agent how to push the buttons on a phone. Good thing Charla was there. That poor ticket agent might have been staring at that strange plastic ringing box saying why is that box making that noise?

Wacko Mirna holds hands with the airport worker so they will have a better chance to get on a flight. That poor guy was probably looking for a can of bug spray to get Mirna away from him.

Eric and Danielle, along with others made it on a flight standby, but were pulled off at the last minute to make room for someone with a confirmed seat. Danielle gets all pissy. But they end up being the only ones to get on the next flight.

Charla gets seasick on the boat and makes the loudest hurling noise I ever heard! That is one loud midget!

Detour. Solve it or schlep it. Solve it requires them to put together a puzzle with a bunch of fish. Surprisingly, Oswald and Danny were very good handling fish. But they took time out from going to the next challenge so they can stop and pick up some fruit. I'm not saying a word!

The next challenge requires them to throw a Rungu. Phil seems proud of his rungu.

Charla and Mirna are first to arrive at the pitstop again. And Charla still has that "Too Hot To Handle" shirt on that she had at the last pitstop. It probably should really say "Too Stinky To Handle". That crazy midget needs more clothes. Isn't there a Barbie doll store somewhere around for her to increase her wardrobe?

Dustin and Kandice choose to handle the big logs. No shock there.

Eric and Danielle enjoy their boat ride by themselves. Then Eric gives some sound sex advice of "There's always something back there poking at you saying don't get too comfortable cause somebody's sneaking up on ya." Ok, maybe it wasn't sex advice, but I'm sure it still applies to him.

Even with the 30 minute penalty from last leg, Uchenna and Joyce still were the third team to the pitstop. Way to come back!

The Cryptkeeper's children were last to arrive at the pitstop and are outta there. Teri says that Ian can love her like nobody else can. Um, well, nobody else would want to, so that's not saying much. See ya guys!