Dancing With The Stars - Week 2

It's the second week of Dancing With The Stars. The points from tonight will be added together with last week's. Let's hope tonight there's no mullets, no bad Bruno puns, but PLENTY of flying legs please!

















First up is Apolo Anton Ohno doing the Quickstep. That dance always annoys me. It was a sassy and fun dance. I liked it a lot. The judges loved it too. But Apolo's mega choppers drive me crazy! They are like twice the size of regular teeth. Scores: 8, 9, 9.

















Next up is Shandi and cutie Brian. Brian is HOT HOT tonight and he tore up that dancefloor. Shandi was just trying to keep up. And didn't do good enough at it. They will have problems staying, which will be a shame. They are such nice eye candy. Scores: 6, 7, 7.

















Now we got Clyde Drexler doing the Quickstep. Compared to Apolo it was bad bad. But of course the judges always go easy on the awkward sports guys and gave him glowing comments. It's stupid. He was bad. Face it. Scores: 6, 6, 6. I'm ok with those scores.

















Next is Leeza Gibbons wanting to shake her 50 year old groove thang. It was pretty awkward. I don't think she's improved much over last week. Bruno told her to let the tramp out. How rude Bruno. Don't talk about Heather Mills like that! Scores: 7, 7, 7.

















Was that Robbie Williams in the audience?? Guess he's outta rehab.

















Up next is Ian Ziering. He did very well. Bruno said he was skippy like a rabbit and needs to work on his form. Scores: 7, 8, 7. Speaking of 90210 stars, I would love to see Shannon Doherty on this show. I bet she would have a fit if any judge dissed her!

















Now we got Paulina Porizkova. She was better than last week. Nothing too great, but the judges encouraged her. By the look on her face, I think she was shocked she got good comments. Scores: 7, 7, 7.

















Up next is Billy Ray Cyrus. Billy says he's depressed because he sucks. Ain't that the truth! Wait. He actually did better than Clyde. Of course, that's not saying much. But I think he earned himself another week at least. Scores: 7, 7, 7.

















Next up is trick leg Heather Mills. What mess is she wearing?? Woody did pretty well. The judges all like her as well. She did some crazy flip that was crying out for a leg malfunction. Boo! I'd take off points for her leg not flying off! Scores: 8, 8, 8.

















Now we got John Ratzenberger. He was pretty spry for an old geeze. Judges liked him too. I guess he's supposed to be the funny old guy of this season, but he's not too much funny. Scores: 7, 7, 7.

















Up next is Laila Ali being all spicy! She was a pistol! Her legs are so big and muscular, they are scary looking. But she was sassy! And Maksim showed off his muscles. Extra point for that! Scores: 9, 9, 9.

















Last performer is Joey Fatone. I think someone did toss that pork chop across the dance floor. Look at Joey's excitement above when he saw it. And his partner Kym must have been distracted by some shiny object. She's off somewhere in airhead land. Joey was flying all over the place. Good job tubs! Len calls Joey a geezer. Len's cataracts must be flaring up again. Scores: 8, 8, 8.

My guess for who's going tomorrow is either Leeza and Paulina. Not my bottom two, but who I think the audience will have as their bottom two.