Thursday, September 28, 2006

Celebrity Duets Finale - It's Finally Over!

It's the Celebrity Duets Finale. Thank God! Now I'm not even going to mention Jai Rodriguez' elimination last week. Just stupid! Crack loving FOOLS!

Anyway...first up is Lucy (I Suck Out Loud) Lawless. BOO! Or should I say BOOBS! That's the only thing that is keeping her around. Tonight she's singing with Bonnie Tyler. "Turn around big boobs!" Why couldn't Bonnie bring the cute guys from her video for this song. And speaking of this song, it's chock full of drama. Hmm. Bonnie looks just like Charlene Tilton from Dallas. Lucy was bad as usual. Wait a minute, Little Richard made sense. Who took away his drugs!! Boo!

Alfonso Ribeiro is next, singing with John Secada. Looks like John had a bit too much nip and tuck. mmm Beef jerky. Alfonso sounded great! Little Richard started up about his toes again. That fool's got some obsession with his toes. David Foster says that Alfonso was good enough to be belong in his world. If only all of us could be special enough to be in David's world. Whateva you old fool. He's the king of back-handed compliments.

Ok, why are they still showing those Fudgem Dominos commericals? Do people actually order that crap? I'm sorry, but if I wanted to hug some big hairy and fudgy thing, I'd go to some leather bar! ICK!

Anyways...Hal Sparks is up to scream a new song. He's singing with Sebastian Bach from Skid Row. Ouch! Make it stop! SUCK-O-RAMA! Little Richard said "My grandmother didn't holler that loud when she was trying to get the cows to come in." I think I would've rather watched her call the cows instead. The judges were somewhat nice to him. I guess they want to make us to think this is a nailbiter contest, which it isn't.


Lucy is back to sing once again with Smokey Robinson. Lucy actually sounded pretty good this song. And I still love me some Smokey! Richard commented on her "Fly Me To The Moon" performance by saying "Why she wanna go there? What she wanna do up on the moon?" Someone tell Richard that she's not really going to the moon. I think he's been on the moon for weeks now!

Alfonso comes back to sing with Gladys Knight. They sounded good. Made a good pair. The judges loved Alfonso and pimped him to the voters.

Oh no! The Carlton Dance. Just wrong!

Hal Sparks returns with Dennis DeYoung. Dennis still sounds good. They both are singing to their wife/girlfriend. Hal's girlfriend's looking fugly! Now see, Hal doesn't scream as much this song and sounds so much better. Little Richard said "If it don't fit don't force it. I tell ya, you forced it and it was good." ?? Is Richard still talking about singing??

Well, there they are. I think Alfonso is the obvious front runner, but I wouldn't be surprised if Lucy's boobs take her to the win.


W. J. St. Christopher said...

I'm afraid Lucy's gonna win, too. She doesn't deserve it, but this is as much a popularity contest as it is anything.

Alfonso deserves to take it. He's been consistently 'pretty good-to-great'.

Hal . . . Poor Hal needs to go on some kind of extended retreat. Maybe he can take Little Richard along. I'll bet Hal's throat looked like hamburger after his first song. Yikes!


Anonymous said...
Fucking picky people.