Celebrity Duets..From Hell!

I got around to watching the premiere episode of Celebrity Duets. I was going to pass on this, but I decided to give it a try. If I can put up with My Humps on the radio, then I can give this a try. Ok, so let's see what D-List losers they got for this celebrity outing. But first I have to touch on the judges of this show.












What an odd trio! David Foster is normal enough. He's got a lot of experience in finding talented artists so I can see that. Next we have Marie Osmond. Ol' Marie had to pay the bills apparently. Guess they need another Mormon church built or something. Her feedback to the contestants actually make sense, so I'm ok with her. Then there's Little Richard. Oh dear. Now I know these talent shows always gotta have one loony on the judges panel (i.e. Paula Abdul, The Hoff, Mary Murphy, et. al), but Little Richard? We stopped making fun of him a decade ago. I don't think he's all there. He probably thinks he's watching the Celine Dion show in Vegas, but nobody has the heart to tell him he's just on a crappy reality show. And what is he saying?? I can't understand any of his mumbling. BUT, in the tradition of my beloved Mary Murphy from So You Think You Can Dance, Richard seems totally drunk, so I LOVE HIM!


















So here's the contestants above. I'll have to look up the spelling of these names since a lot of these jokers I've never heard of. Ok, let's look at the lineup shall we?












Lucy Lawless was up first singing with Michael Bolton. I really didn't need to see him. Oh Xena, I would have much rather enjoyed seeing you toss his butt off the stage like the Warrior Princess you are! She then sang with Smokey Robinson. Me like Smokey! Well, his voice, not his hair.
Lucy did a nice job. I was impressed with her voice. Who knew. Cylons make good singers ya know.












Lea Thompson. She was in some movies I liked in the 80's and a TV show I hated in the 90's. But she was a recurring character on the TV show Ed. So I guess she's not all bad. Her voice was pretty good. Nothing special. She sang with Randy Travis (you remember, the gay country singer married to the 80 year old woman/beard). She had on some horrid countrifed dress that looked like Stevie Nicks on crack (well, wasn't she most of the time anyway?). She also sang with Michael Bolton (??). Man, I'd hate to get stuck having to sing with him.













Alfonso Ribeiro. What's with that pose?? Now ol' Alfonso was Carlton on Fresh Prince and who can forget him as the token black on Silver Spoons. Looks like he's been using those silver spoons with his meals a little too much! Ol' Alfie was good and cheesy singing with James Ingram and Michelle Williams (no, not the talented Michelle Williams, the other one). He hammed it up during both songs but was adequate enough to get him through another round.













Carly Patterson. WHO? I guess she does some sports thing? Lacrosse or ping pong? The hell if I know! She sang with James Ingram and LeeAnn Womack. Girlfriend was bad. Especially her first song. But I think Little Richard was enchanted by the sparkles on her dress and will keep her a little longer.












Cheech Marin. Why?? Was this a joke or something? I think I'm going to have nightmares with him in that rediculous country outfit. So he performed with Peter Frampton first as the new duet team "The Has Beens". Then he sang with Randy Travis. Whatever...I fast forwarded through half his singing. The howling dogs outside my door were too distracting.












Hal Sparks. Fresh from Queer As Folk. Oh, and I guess he must have brought a drag queen from the show with him. Oh, wait, that's Gladys Knight. Hal is the lead singer in a band himself. Some hard rock band, so of course, all of his singing was over the top and rockin. You know, like Chris Daughtry from Idol, minus the talent. He also sang with Smokey Robinson in falsetto. It scared me. But at least my apartment is now roach-free. They all ran off when that falsetto started. I suppose his singing was ok, but he probably won't be around long unless he improves.













Chris Jericho. I know nothing about him. He wrestles or something? He should have wrestled with his decision to be on this show. Just plain scary. He sang with LeeAnn Womack and Peter Frampton. Whateva. I won't have to worry about him much longer.












Finally there was Jai Rodriguez, the Queer Eye guy (pictured above with RuPaul..I mean Michelle Williams). Now I know Jai can sing. I've seen him on Broadway 6 times performing the role of Angel in Rent and I loved him on that show. Jai sang with Gladys Knight and Michelle Williams. He has great stage presence. Well, I hope so after performing on Broadway for years. I think it's kind of a given that he was the best singer of the night. But it was a bit creepy when he was coming on to Gladys during the first song. But I give him props for making me believe that this little queen had the hots for Gladys. He probably just wanted her wig.












Of course, the bottom two were Chris Jericho and Carly Patterson. Wayne Brady should have just booted them both off, but alas, only Chris went. So that means another week of Carly's warbling off key. This show is a train wreck, but like a train wreck, I can't stop watching! I'll be tuning in this week to see if Cheech goes Up in Smoke (heh) or if Little Richard joins Paula Abdul's 12-step program and sounds more coherent this week. Oh, who am I kidding. The producers will make sure he's a blabbering fool. And we wouldn't want it any other way, thank you!