It's Amazing Race time again. I've especially been looking forward to this after the craptastic rip-off of it called Treasure Hunters. Finally, a show with no Motorola Messages or robotic hosts. That right. Phil and his package are back doing hosting duties. Let's take a look at this season's lineup of fools!
Oh lookie here. We got rednecks David and Mary! Looks like maybe the producers did watch Treasure Hunters afterall. He's a coal miner and she's the obeying wife. Both of them don't have a full set of teeth between them. And those left are rotten. They do nothing but complain, because that's what you do up in thar mountayns. So far, they aren't too annoying. I'm sure that will change soon.
Here goes brothers Erwin and Godwin. They like to work out together and are apparently smart with fancy degrees. Whateva! What's with those similar names? I'll call them the Win Twins. Which is ironic, since they won't! And one of these geniouses decides to bring squirt guns to the airport and start spraying down people in the terminal. Hmm. I wonder if security will let that slide?........Didn't think so. I was hoping to see them get a 1 day penalty in the game for having to spend the night in jail. But no such luck...
Here's Dustin and Kandice. They are both beauty queens. The reigning Miss California and Miss New York respectively. They always have a team on the show like this. But I gotta give props to these beauty queens. The trio of them on Treasure Hunters sure did well on that show. One of them is a marketing director, so she's gotta have some smarts. The other one is a Rockette, so she's gotta have some...um...nice legs? I dunno. You tell me??
Speaking of playing the ditzy girls quotient, here we go again. It's Kellie and Jamie. They are both cheerleaders. They cheer for the Gamecocks. Heh! I think that may end up being the nickname for one of the other guys on this show by the end of the season! My favorite part of them in the first episode was when they started doing a cheer for the cab driver who was making good time! I wonder if they do that in line at the Drivers License office when they get in a line that moves fast?? "2-4-6-8, who do we appreciate? D-M-V!! YAY!!" Hmm...
This is the dating pair Peter and Sarah. Ol' Sarah has a prosthetic leg. One of those fancy running ones that bounces when you run. At first, she pulled the ol' handicapped card and got boarded first, but by the end of the episode, she really worked her butt off to get through the leg of the race. I gotta give her praise for that. She must be in great shape to climb up that wall with just one leg for support. She sprang a leak in her leg and was leaking hydraulic fluid halfway through the episode and had to deal with it. She didn't have a spare? Heck, I'd have a whole set of them with me. In fact she should have a leg for all occasions. Let's say, they gotta swim...pull out the flipper leg! Need to dig a hole? No problem, reach for the leg with a shovel end. It's pretty dark in this cave. No need to worry...time for the flashlight leg! HEH! I suppose that's wrong on so many levels, but it would be cool none the less! Go-go-gadget!
Here's Lyn and Karlyn. They are a couple of moms. They already have a hatred for Peter and Sarah because they feel Sarah is playing up her leg situation to get preferrential treatment. I hope they saw how Sarah got up that wall with one leg. Probably faster than the moms. Oh, and they said that since they were from Alabama, they would be a hit in China because of Forrest Gump. Yeah, I'm sure that's what the Chinese will be saying when they hit the streets. More like "Get out of the road you crazy fools!"
This is Rob and Kimberly. They are pretty forgetful. I can't even remember anything about them except that they yell a lot. Another bickering couple. Fun....
Next we got Duke and Lauren. This is a father and daughter team. Duke was very dissapointed in his daughter. Why? Well, I was thinking a druggie? A criminal past? Can't get a job? Nope, she's a lesbian. OH NO! That's even worse! Sheesh. Stupid dad! I'm sure they will be best of buds by the end of the show. Maybe they can go out looking for girls together afterwards. Father: "Lauren, are you one of those dipstick lesbians?" Daughter: No dad, you're the only dipstick around here!"
Here's Tom and Terry. Was that Tom and Jerry? No sir. These are two OTHER cartoon characters. They are a gay couple. Earlier we had a couple of beauty queens, well here's a couple of ugly queens! Why do the producers always have to hunt for the most flaming and obnoxious gay couples for this show? We need some good eye candy gays like Chip and Reichen! What's next TAR producers? Next year, a team of drag queens in full drag, beehive wigs and 5 inch stilleto pumps? Stopping every few minutes to put on a show for the locals? Drag 1: "Are you looking for the roadblock?" Drag 2: "Girl, the hell with that. I'm looking for the sunblock. Red and neon orange do not go together, okay?" Anyway, I don't care if they go soon. Besides, they look like Wally and the Beaver in the picture above!
Next is Tyler and James. They are a couple of recovered drug addicts who are now models. I love the black and white pictures they showed during their drug days. Heh! Why don't the have current drug addicts on the show! That would be much more interesting. I can hear Phil now. "Where is your money for this leg of the race?". Umm...we misplaced it? As they wipe their nose. And hilarity ensues! Ok, well props to the cuties for cleaning up. And they make for some very nice eye candy! And they finished this leg first. So they look like a team to beat!
Here's Vipul and Arti. A married couple. They seemed nice enough, but didn't last long. They were gone on the first episode. Which I suppose is good. How many times can someone type Vipul and Arti?
And finally, there was Bilal and Sa'eed. A couple of Muslim best friends. They are very devoted to their religion and apparently cannot shake hands with women. They said that if they have to pull over on the road to pray, they will. Oh I wish they stayed on the show a little longer to see that. Two mintes from the pitstop and barely in the lead. Hold up! Time to pray! Well, we won't know since they got kicked off at a surprise elimination. What's with these surprise eliminations? I was expecting to see Julie Chen pop up with a notecard. "Houseguests, it's a surprise eviction on Amazing Race."
Overall, a pretty good group of contestants. This should be better than the past couple seasons. But after Treasure Hunters, I suppose anything would be good!
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