Monday, July 31, 2006

Footballin' Fun!

Footballer's Wive$ had it's season 4 finale last night on BBC America. Saucy! I love this show. It's so scandalous and fabulous. It's the Dynasty of this decade. In fact, Joan Collins joins the cast in it's current 5th season in the UK, but we're just on the 4th in the US. This finale was jam packed with drama. Let's see what all happened (SPOILERS abound for those who haven't seen it!)

This is Bruno and Lucy. Bruno's a violent and crazy control freak who tracks Lucy wherever she goes. Lucy made the mad dramatic escape from him and fled to her new man-friend for help. But the man-friend turns out to be a crazy nutter who makes Bruno seem nice and normal! Bruno tried to shoot the guy with a rifle but accidentally shoots one of his best mates on the team. The best part of this scene was seeing the crazy guy forcing Lucy to have a faux wedding ceremony with all of the wedding guests being cardboard cutouts of people with a picture of his face glued on all of them. Freaky!

Noah is a gay footballer who decided he didn't want to be gay and went to a group who would try to de-gayify himself. Yeah, that'll stick... So he's all engaged to the daugher of the head of the de-gayifying group (who is also an ex-gay) and is busy planning his wedding. But ol' Noah has a weak moment and decides to slip off to the gay baths for some cruzin, when who does he find there but his fiancee's father. You go girls!

Why hello cutie Seb and his father! Ol' Seb takes time out from looking dreamy so that he can get his psycho freak on! Seems Seb is sweet on his dad's new wife, gets her all drunk and takes advantage of her and tries to get more action out of her by threatening to tell Dad that they had sex if she don't put out. But Dad ain't havin that. He through the cutie out on the street. Hey Seb, I got a place for you to stay!

Amber is the wife of the captain of the team, Conrad. She's also on the board of directors of the team and is busy scheming to oust the chair of the board, Hazel, so she can take over the position. Hazel is just fabulous. Our girl Amber went to town to make her plans come true. This includes flirting, promising big donations, accusing Hazel of being a drunk and incompetent, oh and handing out blow jobs! But all backfires when Hazel resigns at the last minute and announces a replacement who is NOT Amber. They didn't say who the replacement is, but I believe it is the goddess of Footballer's Wives. One of the all-time most fabulous characters on TV...

Tanya Turner! All bow to Tanya! She's my role model. She married three different guys for money, then sees they make an untimely demise and leave her their money. Her and Amber have all out brawls that can top Krystle and Alexis from Dynasty. Ah, good times!

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